SUKS xD
Nrly... Yeah, it's been a few days.
I've been slaving D8 Gimme a break..lol
and I haven't been through all my messages yet...

So anywho, kidlets and peoples of all ages and genders, race and religions (or no religions)

Yes, yes, I support you all...

I'll tell you something. I've been in Driver's Ed for 6 days now and here is what I learned:

DRIVER'S ED IS BULLSHIT.

Yep. You heard me. Loud and clear, in text and everything. T_T

And I'll tell you why in a second here....
(prepare for rantyness)

You see, life isn't apples or oranges and cherries or lemons.
It's not all happy and super duper, but it's not all evil either.
And you're not going to make it through life on ignorance and denial (trust me, my mother's been trying that for years now....)

Sometimes, some things in life are stupid. You need to realize this and learn how to deal with stupidities in life.

Driver's Ed, much like Health class, is one of those stupidities.
You see, the goal in this class is not what you think. You may be thinking: "Driver's Ed is here to inform me on being safe and teaching me how to correctly drive a motorized vehicle"
Well... that's not entirely true. The goal of this class, much like health class, is simply to scare people out of living and driving. Or, simply being on the road where vehicles might be near... or near the road... or near any place that may be near --
On second thought, just never leave the house.

Health class:
Basically, don't have sex EVER or you WILL get AIDS and die a horrible painful death after living a painful meaningless life.
If you get so much as a cough or sniffle, GO TO THE MEDS. Cuz if you don't take medicine for everything, you could die. like. srsly.
Also, wash your hands EVERY TWO SECONDS or more often if possible because germs are always around you and on you and you don't want to get something as serious as the common cold or anything -_-

Oh and, don't forget when taking those medications, you will almost certainly automatically become addicted if you don't take these medications EXACTLY THE RIGHT WAY.

Never hang out with people who smoke. LIKE EVER. Never even be around people who smoke because second hand smoke is something that can never ever be avoided, you will die on spot, and you can NEVER get it out of your clothes (cuz apparently the 'specialists' have never heard of a washing machine before....).

Also, no matter how old you are, if you take even one sip of an alcoholic drink you will become addicted and probably pass out.

Oh and you must must must exercise at least 30 times a day for an hour each. Make it as extreme and body harming exercise as possible because automatically, the harder you work, the better...
Oh, but don't not eat food. Cuz like, if you skip out on one meal at all... you're automatically anorexic and will never be the same...

In fact... why don't you just live in a bubble all your life? Make sure you de-germify it every two seconds though, and run in place as much as possible... Have a trusted, clean adult bring you healthy healthy foods (but avoid sugar or fat at all costs because they're hazardous and you will drop dead on spot) -- and be sure to disinfect after coming in contact with that other human being.


Driver's Ed:
Ok, this is srsly bullshit. Like I've said, been in the class for 6 days now and, well... If not for previous lessons with my dad, I wouldn't know how to work a vehicle at all! Or damn near it.

I could probably tell you how many people died from car crashes from in the year 2000, 2004, and everything in between.
I know that alcohol contributes to 40+% car crashes and that 50% of all crashes are single-vehicle crashes...
I've heard almost thousands of stories about the horrors of car crashes and people being morons -_-
but you know what... they hardly teach us shit about driving...
put key in slot, turn. go.

Here are other bullshit things I learned in driver's ed:
automatically, all teenagers, no matter their intelligence level or anything, think they're invincible. Even I think I'm invincible and I don't even know it yet T_T

Automatically, half the new drivers absolutely WILL crash within the first five years of driving.. no matter how safe and careful you are, if the kid sitting next to you doesn't crash, YOU WILL.
Oh, but you also have to remember to have confidence in your skills but apparently that's not important....

Also, all teenagers are stupid. They're obnoxious and ignorant and don't obey rules and are always rebellious and think they can't die... like I said, doesn't matter who you are, if your a teen that's what you're like -_-

And... adults are very much smarter, and more alert and patient than teenagers... no matter what, and if they're not, they must be new drivers...

And no matter how strong of a mind I, or any other teen, has we will all collapse under the pressure of our peers... cuz, like I said, we're stupid...

Oh, and small children are stupid too (which is pretty true... but i digress) and will run out in front of your car and teenagers will not have the attention span to stop (personally, if a kid is able to run out in front of a car, I'd have some serious issues with the parents, because they're supposed to be caring for their children and watching over them and not letting them run into the street, I don't care HOW unpredictable that child can be....)


Oh and I could probably go on for hours!



But seriously, this stuff is bullshit! If they'd stop trying to scare us from walking outside cuz a crazy drunk driver could smash us in our own yard, and stop with the organ donor propaganda (lol oh yeah, that too....) and just spend more time teaching us how to fucking drive in a safe and cautious manner, I'm pretty sure it would be a little more simpler...

Now you're probably thinking: "Nikki! They're just trying to get you aware of the dangers of driving, the morons out in the world, and what you need to do to drive safely."

Well I say people should be able to either have sense on their own or get hurt to learn a lesson. If you just stick kids in a classroom, throw shit in their brains like they're robots and send them out into the real world, they're not going to be able to deal with it... People need to experience things to learn.
And sometimes this learning requires getting hurt because of a stupid action... Yeah, it's unfortunate, but you know what, it happens. That's life. It happens to the better of us, but the most important thing is we learn... and if we don't, we shouldn't be out on the streets (or maybe even living T_T) at all, now should we?
And parents are such hypocrites in this way a lot.
They always say don't
drink
smoke
swear
drive too fast
party all night
etc etc etc

I'm sure a lot of parents have or maybe still do....
(and come on, what does swearing hurt anyone I MEAN REALLY. It's not like I'm physically abusing anyone by saying the fuck word. There's this thing called public, if you don't want to hear it, go back to your disinfected bubble. Reality, people... meaningless. words.)
and sure, warn your children about the reality of things... If you drink or do drugs, you're probably going to hurt yourself and there's a huge huge chance you will get addicted... but don't go up in their face and be all: NEVER DO IT CUZ I SAID SO
because that's just stupid.
As if people will listen to that reasoning... plus if you did it, you're being a hypocrite by telling them straight up not to do it...

Just, ya know... admit you did it, it didn't turn out well, learned a lesson or two... tell them the reality of things

and if they still do it, well, obviously they needed to learn a lesson too.
I guess they needed to fuck up their lives to learn something because they didn't have the sense enough to do otherwise...

Or maybe they're just going through rough times and you wouldn't talk to them, Idunno... I'm not a shrink...

but that's not the point.... ==
Maybe... I'm not really sure of the point myself



Parents. ugh... parents...

My parents. ugh.
My dad is a mean scary man... lazy as fuck, never does anything... at all... Just sits around on his ass, smoking and watching tv (it's a wonder he's not dead yet... or he hasn't had a heart attack at all... he's fifty fucking four and he's been smoking since his early teens....)
He's just mean and lazy and stupid... and when he gets angry, he gets scary and kind of abusive...
Not towards my mom, no... nor my brother (mr golden child, chip off the old block... he's just like dad....)
But with me, it's different... I'm not really like them... very much... plus I'm a girl, and you see, they are hardcore Christians so I guess... I'm automatically insuperior cuz i'm a girl or something, idunno...
(I have a theory my parents only had another kid because they wanted a boy in the first place, ended up with a girl and was disappointed so they kept trying... It's pretty plausible actually... they never thought of a girl name till the last minute... but they had Vinton picked out as soon as they knew mom was pregnant....)

My mom... Oh my god my mom... boy is she delusional and stupid as hell... I think she's been going through some crazy ass midlife crisis/denial phase these last few years or so (what am i, 15 now? yeah... 10th grade... about three, four years now i guess...)
Well, I assume midlife crisis because she's too young for menopause... I guess you never really know, but she's only (only used lightly) 45 and I know she still gets her period cuz once a month -- yikes.
But anyways, she's in some crazyass fantasy land that nothing is wrong in the world and everything's about her even though I try as hard as I possibly can to make life less suckish for those ignorant ass holes...

You know, I just don't get it. I try to help out with things and I do it wrong... I try to stay out of their way and they complain I don't do anything...
I might as well not even exist... but then they wouldn't have anyone to beat down when they feel crappy T_T

Idunno what my dad's problem is... well, my mom too
Ever since my dad lost his job, you'd think we won the lottery or something... They've been buying things we obviously don't have money for... mostly obsessing over the lawn (WHY. IS THAT SO. DAMN. IMPORTANT TO OLD PEOPLE!?!?!)
Like... crazy ass expensive organic fertilizers... all sorts of plants and garden accessories... A bench. My dad bought a bench... Like one of those fancy metal material thing and wood ones... the crazy decorative ones that for some reason EVERY GODDAMN PERSON IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD THINKS THEY NEED ON THEIR FRONT STEP.
and what for? We have chairs... comfy ones too and that bench isn't even comfortable at all... its just... fancy looking or something

Ugh the lawn obsessing! Why must every lawn and every house and every garden of every person in this stupid neighborhood be so perfect? What is wrong with people...
Look, I understand not wanting a crappy lawn, but going to the extent my parents are going is stupid as hell...
They're like watering every 5 minutes and they're out there 24/7 making sure everything is perfect -_-
ugh.

I hate this place... It has some sort of freakish possessive effect on them or something... they never obsessed like this at our old house D8
We had like 6 flower gardens and a big vegetable garden... some lilac bushes and a small apple tree but that all accumulated over the years we lived their.... You know... like every summer we'd go to Nelson's Nursery and pick out a few different flowers or vegetables to put in the gardens...

not like, "oh we've been here two whole summers now and this place is not perfect. we better obsess like crazy and make it perfect"



I remember a time -- vaguely -- when my mom and I used to be close... like... we were almost a perfect happy family...
a little dysfunctional, sure... my brother was a brat, always has been, but... it was nice...
I almost never left my mom's side and she would always help me out with things...
and I was never left home alone (I know most kids love being home alone and everything but i tend to get lonely and hate it... a lot...) and they were just... there for me and everything...

Actually, I do remember times of unhappiness and feeling upset... and from a very young age I've thought of stupid things like running away or thoughts of just not existing anymore... but I could never go through with it, I was just too young...

Eventually, I'd get over it...

But things aren't as easy to get over as you get older, I've found... Or at least in my experiences...

6th grade, i almost sort of sensed a slight loss in connection with my parents but it was never much... I didn't need help with homework or anything, and I figured that's why and didn't see it as anything else...
6th grade is ... probably the easiest thing a person does in life.
I practically day dreamed through sixth grade... In fact, I really don't remember much...
I didn't do much.
Idunno... I didn't really have many friends around school... I grew up in a neighbourhood of pretty much all guys... and they were all different grades than I was... so i didn't really see them around school...

7th grade was when my parents just absolutely suddenly without warning cut me off... They didn't know me anymore from this point on... it was like some random switch flipped in their heads and I became a stranger to them...

I'd ask for help and they'd give me bullshit useless answers/solutions... which didn't solve anything...

that was the year we first moved and... well i began missing quite a bit of school, not getting work done... not caring...
That's when it started going to hell.

After 7th grade I wasn't in honors english because of all of it...

I was in honors math still though... I still sort of slightly cared about that... That year, as well as 8th grade I had Mrs. Ellingson... she taught both Pre algebra and algebra...
or, at least the honors ones... i know she also teaches regular algebra....

8th grade only got worse... I came close to failing a few classes, in fact... I failed art, but that's cuz for some reason the middle school art teacher started going crazy and weirdo and we had 3 projects started towards the end of the year while he was at LEC with the 6th graders and he had the sub start a whole new project...
I later learned he was pretty disappointed that he ended up having to fail me......

8th grade was also the year Zach moved here...

hmmmm...

8th grade was weird D:
Liek... really weird...

My mom actually seriously asked me if I was taking drugs or something T_T



Meh. 9th grade was sooo much better... I didn't get perfect grades or anything which really isn't like me (I'm kind of a perfectionist believe it or not... xD)... but... I'm recovering... I guess...

My parents are still ignorant ass holes and my brother only gets worse as the years go on...
lazier and lazier and meaner and meaner...
and more abusive T_T

Summers tend to be the worst since I have no choice but to spend a lot of time at home (which is why I'm glad I'm so busy this summer and am actually getting out of the house...)
Less time at home = less time around parents = less probability of fighting to occur... and less time for it to happen...

And yeah, I realize its sort of like running away from my problems to get out of the house... but I just hate this place so much and miss my old neighborhood...
and I've tried talking to them
I've tried explaining things to them...
they don't listen

I try to say something serious and they laugh at me or complain about some thing I did wrong in some way or another...
I absolutely can't explain anything to them because no matter how much I try, or how many different ways I try... they just don't get it.


Hmm... meh. It's late... really late... just, never mind me. I'm just venting =_=

I typed a lot more than I wanted too....


But, hey... on a happier note...
I was at Zach's house a good portion of the day yesterday xP
then I went painting with Erica and Courtney... which is always great (and probably not in a healthy way xD 4+ hours in a smallish shut up room with paint fumes everywhere...lol after a while you tend to get dizzy and start painting scary crazy meth lemurs and LSD flowers and crack birds xD gawd, I gotta get pictures of that room when its done...)

Yeah... lately I've been spending a lot of time with Erica and Courtney and my Zachy Zach x3
It's pretty great being able to see people...

Yeah..... I slept over at Erica and Courtney's a bit ago... that was crazy fun stuff xD
we went to walmart at like 9/10 at night and just... bought stuff... for the hell of it... like art stuff and... other things lol >w>

got home around 11-ish xD



lol osht... 2 am xD I gots driver's ed to get up for... and we're painting extra long and stuff cuz we want to get it doooonnnneee.

soyah.



Crazy artist peoples... yah! >.> It's... pretty great


-Das Fuchs